Day 1 - The Writing of Self-Forgiveness

Through the time measuring a bit over 2 years now that I have been aware of the self-forgiveness writing process, I have been on and off with regard to my consistency. I see now that in the times during those 2 years I participated in this writing process, that I grew. Now reaching a time span nearing 9 months of doing almost no writing at all, I see clearly that something must change. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to intentionally avoid doing self-forgiveness writing, participating in excuses such as "I don't have time, "I'm too tired, I don't want to, etc." within this not seeing realizing and understanding the trap my ego set for me in order to keep me the same

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist change, fearing the constant ebb and flow that is natural in life, within this not seeing realizing and understanding that to resist Life is to accept and allow my becoming of a mind/ego being exclusively and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist my true nature as Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish to remain a child, to go back to a time where I had no responsibility, where there was always someone to guide/direct me as well as care for me, not seeing realizing and understanding that the time in my life to have no responsibility has passed and that the only way out now is through and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to choose to be ignorant of the fact that I have a permanent responsibility to myself, my wife, my children, my community, and the world and I can either step up and into that responsibility by taking ultimate self-responsibility or I can continue to shy away from self-responsibility meanwhile, continuing to participate in the accepted and allowed world system of today that thrives on abuse. I can either stand for change or continue to be an abuser. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have a choice when it comes to change. believing that if I continue participating in the thought patterns, habits, behaviors, etc. that I have always participated in that change will occur, not seeing realizing and understanding that I am only accepting and allowing change to occur within the context of negative accumulated consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of facing myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of admitting who I am to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide from me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of accountability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid of change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist my utmost potential

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create negative consequence in my experience

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create what I don't want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to admit to myself that I am afraid of change, responsibility, facing myself, admitting who I am to myself, Life, accountability, etc. 

I see realize and understand that if I want to change the best moment is now and that starts with knowing where I am and where I want to be

I commit myself to admit to myself who I am

I commit myself to write out where I want to be and what it takes to get there

I commit myself to write self-forgiveness every day for the next 7 days to prove to myself the change that I can create when I express myself self-honestly