Day 48

what to write what to write what to write

a lot of different things I encounter, but the big one is the point that if it was just me, I would live in exclusive self-interest

what does that look like

I would have a video game console and a tv

I would spend my free time gaming and watching porn

I would probably workout and play sports 

I would spend a lot of time with my guns and getting better with them

I would probably not be disciplined with my diet, food nor information

when I think about if I lost my family, I feel this is the person I would become, but I really don't know

and it really doesn't matter because right now I have them

right now, I want to be better 

right now I want more and whether its for them or for me is a conversation for another day because I am here now

and everything else is speculation

I live here, and taking residence in speculation is a waste of time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life based on what ifs instead of reality 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to acknowledge what I am doing in physical reality and that although not 100% of the time, I do good for myself and others

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give myself praise 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to celebrate myself

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a winner

I commit myself to write out 1 win a day from tomorrow until next Friday