day 19

I have been frustrated lately. With work, with my coworkers, with my managers, with my son, with my self, it feels perpetual. It has been ongoing for quite some time now and I feel it has advanced due to my lack of accountability in dealing with this pent up frustration which brings me here. I have been feeling very emotional, with it taking only about 1 instance to set me off whether that be a smart remark, a reaction from someone, or even just an unmet expectation. I do know that to continue to allow these feelings to pent up will not be productive in supporting me to reach the next steps in my process through life, so I must start here using the tool of self forgiveness to assist me in living the change I wish to see in my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be undisciplined with my time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when I use my time unwisely

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that I am literally creating the frustration and anger in my life through my actions and choices on a daily basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play observer to my frustration and choose to ignore the fact that so much of my frustration could be avoided simply by making different decisions with my time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay taking action due to frustration and pent up emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that a big part of my frustration stems from me not making the choices and living the change I wish to see in my life, within this I now see realize and understand that I am not able to see myself living the life I wish to create because I have not been making the decisions presently that would open up the path that would allow me to live that life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so focused on what I wish to do to support others that I have not taken the time to slow down and actually make sure that I live that change that I wish to support others with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get frustrated when I see that my coworkers and performing better than myself, not seeing realizing and understanding that in those moments I am living the expression "comparison is the thief of joy"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my anger and frustration

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take a back seat to the circumstance I experience instead of putting my hands on the wheel and directing myself to where I want to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire 1% results while making 99% decisions and taking 99% actions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to delay aligning my actions with my desires

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the change I wish to see

I see realize and understand there is a definite gap between where I am at present and where I desire to be as well as the gap between the life I live now and the life I must live to close that gap and so I commit myself to identify and make clear the necessary changes that must occur to close that gap and create a definite plan to do so incrementally until it is done