I am now going on 30 days of being sick. "Sickness is an opportunity for an upgrade"
Have I taken advantage of that opportunity?
No, not really.
Have I dug into some of the issues related to my symptoms?
No, not really.
So what then. Am I ok with another 30 days going by without change, without self-honest reflection, without living up to my full potential?
Mentally, no
Actually according to my actions, yes.
So what kind of person am I? and I mean in the self-honest, I know my own thoughts/actions kind of way. Not the what kind of person I imagine myself to be kind of way
Am I disciplined?
I can be if when it comes to distractions like porn, video games, and binge watching tv series and movies
When it comes to achieving goals, changing habits, stepping up to my potential, following through with hard decisions, then no the answer is I have gotten almost 0 discipline in that regard
Do I really want to be the person I talk to my wife, children, and family about?
In my head yes, I think I want to be the stand up guy who doesn't back down from his principles and knows how to prioritize effectively. I want to have loads of money and be super successful and get recognition and accolades, and help tons of people.
BUT
According to my actions, no not really. I am constantly seeking an easier route to take. A shorter path. A more instant result. I have not stuck with anything long enough to see major success, nor have I actually applied myself 100% to something and given it everything that I have got until... I want to live life on easy mode, I want things to fall in my lap, I want the path to have less obstacles, less roadblocks, I want life to be a downhill straight where I can just cruise through. I don't want to bust my ass, I don't want to obsess over my goals, I don't want to go all in.
I have learned a lot over the last 5 years of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone and trying new things, but I have never accepted the challenge of being even just .01% better every single day.
quick math, 100/.01=10,000/365 = 27
meaning if I shot for the bare minimum of .01% better every single day it would take me over 27 years to double my current attributes. SO if I am not even doing that, how long will it take then...
Do I actually care about helping people/changing the world?
No, I am selfish. I want to live a cushioned comfortable life. Sure, I think I want to help people in a meaningful way, that actually supports them. However, every opportunity that I have gotten leads to the same path of trying, it being hard, looking for something easier, jumping ship, repeat.
Actually helping people would mean setting aside some of my personal desires in order to grow myself into the person I need to be in order to make that happen.
Do I care about my growth?
I want to make more money sure, but I don't put any time/effort into intentionally growing myself, so the answer would be no.
If I was the star of a movie, what would the audience be screaming at me to do?
Cut out porn, limit distractions, be 100% honest with my wife 100% of the time, go all in on my goals, give my kids my everything when I am here with them.
I guess what it comes down to, if I had exactly 5 "fucks to give" and they were personal character traits, what would they be?
1. Love my wife as I love my children. Hold her, listen to her, help her make good decisions, support her utmost potential, give her my all when I am here, give her my undivided attention, never lie to her, be there for her when she is emotional, be a point of stability.
2. Obsess over learning. Consume myself with processing ability, knowledge, and skillsets. Don't become a jack of all trades and master of none, but rather become a highly effective learner who is able to pivot on a dime. Master the basics.
3. Take care of my body. Treat my body as I would want my children to treat theirs. Would I want my kids masturbating obsessively, nope. Would I want my kids consuming brainrot content hours on end day after day, nope. Would I want my kids filling their bellies with highly processed junk food that doesn't nourish them, nope. So why would I do those kinds of things to myself?
4. Live by principles. Self-perfected principles, read them, integrate them, recite them, share them, and allow them to become a part of every thought I have and every action that I take unconsciously.
5. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. There are a million and one things to do, and a million and two ways to do them. Take a breath, slow down, and focus more on operating at a highly effective state. Peak performance mentality. I don't need to jump 25% one day and 0% the next week, but 1 +1 +1... will eventually equal 100, keep moving don't rush, slow is smooth smooth is fast. When learning new things commit to learning them, when acting on knowns, slow down and make sure you are intentional instead of relying on muscle memory.
Let's say I have 8 weeks of leave in which I am free to spend my days as I please. What does that look like if I am living around those 5 values above?
It looks like having a plan, a simple plan of action for 5 days a week, for 8 weeks wherein I know what I need to do every day, so that I wake up and act on principle instead of how I feel.
It looks like saying yes to going on a walk, playing hockey, helping with dishes, watching the kids.
It looks like joining the self-perfected calls, spending 1 on 1 time with my wife, and taking time to myself to make sure that I am ok as well
It looks like not watching porn, prioritizing learning/action over video games and streaming.
It looks like having discipline with my diet, meaning food and information.
WHAT IF
What if I set a few non-negotiable rules for myself every day and actually followed through with them?
What if I set a goal of being better than I was yesterday and then did that every day?
What if I found a way of balancing my focus and energy between my own self, my family, my health, my business, and my hobbies and then got really effective at modifying that balance on a regular basis to accommodate to different circumstances?
IF I was able to do those three things right there, then I would be on track to separate myself from the large majority of people in the world and in turn I would actually become the person that I set out to be, I would actually get on track to hit some of my goals, I would actually have to face myself and see where I am falling short and make the adjustments necessary so that does not continue to happen.
IF I did those things, money would not be a big stress in my life, my marriage would strengthen, and I would set a much stronger example for my children. So what needs to be done???
5 non negotiable things I must do every day, 7 days a week for 12 weeks
1. TT basics; go through list 2 times writing words and reading definitions on second round. For lists in excess of 30 words and exception can be made to split list to be done over 2 days
2. Wake up with the sunrise and get some sunlight; set alarm for around sunrise the following day, go outside and take 5 deep breaths in the sunlight as soon as possible after waking up
3. Self-forgiveness writing; at least 5 min brain dump, 5 self-forgiveness statements, and 1 commitment statement. needs to be read aloud
4. Give every member of my family 15 minutes of my undivided attention 1 on 1 time; exceptions can be made on bell shifts if kids are asleep before I leave or before I get home, no exception for Gracie
5. Read 1 page of a non-fiction book; personal development, sales, history, biography, etc.
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