Get better every day. Sometimes getting better means just showing up. I think I take that for granted. Showing is better than not. My mind immediately goes to "well if you're going to show up, you should give it your everything" and I agree (I'm so smart). However, where am I. Right now I can self-honestly say from an objective standpoint, that I don't even show up for myself every day. So, to show up everyday for myself is to make improvement. I can't give my all if I am not even there, so if improvement is the name of the game then showing up every day means that I win. I need to stop underestimating that. I just need to give myself more shots on goal and then once I've figured out that part, I can start perfecting my form. Baby steps.
I set the rule for myself of doing a 5 minute brain dump to allow myself to spill my thoughts, 5 self-forgiveness statements, and 1 commitment statement. all in all probably about 10-15 minutes of my day minimum. Showing up for me in this quarter of my life means an extra 10-15 minutes. If I am unable to do that, then all of the steps down the road don't even matter. Right now is foundation building and I need to appreciate the fact that right now the hardest thing I have to do is just show up. Once I have done that it is not going to get any easier for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not show up for myself every day
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manifest my resistance towards showing up for myself as excuses as to why it's ok to miss a day
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play an active role in my resistance by participating in distractions and procrastination
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn the same lesson over and over about my participation in resistance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disillusion myself with a character who is "smart" when I have continually proved to myself that I have to learn lessons over and over again before they stick, within this seeing realizing and understanding that it is ok to accept and allow that right now, I am dumb/stupid because it takes me multiple lessons before I change a behavior, but that it is not acceptable to remain dumb/stupid because I have an awareness, and that to continue to be dumb/stupid with regard to having to learn lessons over and over is to not be teachable nor coachable and so
I commit myself to make a list of 3 lessons that I had to learn multiple times that I still have not changed my behavior
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