Day 11: I GOT IT

 Currently going back through the Your Wish is Your Command audio series and had a profound realization during the last audio session. KT was explaining how during a break one of the guests came up to him exclaiming "I GET IT, I FINALLY GET IT, IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE" and he laughed it off as if in on some joke. He then went on to explain that when one has a high teachability they will never get it,  rather they will always be getting it. In contrast when one has a low teachability they will have an " I GOT IT" attitude and stop their pursuit of learning. My realization within this point has to do with the fact that for the last two years I have had an 'I GOT IT' attitude and how having that attitude is a big factor in why I have not created the life of my desires

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I got it and that there is not anymore for me to get other than results, within this point I have at times even participated and believed in the thought process of "I don't need to learn anymore", not seeing realizing and understanding that to know and not to do is not to know, and that if I do not have what I want to create then there is something missing from the equation and in fact I DO need to learn more in some regard in order to change my situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself superior to others because of the tools/community/knowledge I have access to, not seeing realizing and understanding that to know and not to do is not to know, and that if I have not changed anything even with the tools/community/knowledge I have access to, then that means that I have an incredibly low teachability index

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a low willingness to learn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a low willingness to accept change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I continue doing things the way that I have been doing them that I will get everything I desire, not seeing realizing and understanding that if what I have been doing is not getting me what I want, continuing that pattern of behavior will not yield different results, I see realize and understand that this pattern can be described as having a low teachability index

I see realize and understand that my current state in life can be attributed to the five basics

1. who do you listen to?

2. Teachability index

3. Training balance scale

4. Four levels of learning

5. Master the basics

Since I developed an awareness that I do have power to change my reality four years ago, I have been listening to the wrong people, I have either not been willing to learn or not willing to accept change, I have been either too focused on the how or too focused on the why without knowing how, and I have not spent enough time at the conscious competence level to develop the proficiency in skillsets that will help me create the life of my desires and so

I commit myself to master the five basics 

I commit myself to finish the your wish is your command audio series

I commit myself to increase my teachability index

Day 11: Excusitis the disease of failure

While reading "The Magic of Thinking Big" I was introduced to the idea of Exusitis, the disease of failure. The concept goes as such, we all at one point or another have used an excuse to limit ourselves, or keep ourselves the same. Initially we are aware that we are using this "reason" as an excuse and that we may be stretching it a bit in order to not take responsibility. Well in this process we sometimes use these excuses again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, to the point where we don't even realize it, but we begin to believe this excuse is our reality. Upon reading this I realized I had created in my life the results of my thinking and had accepted and allowed myself to become a victim of excusitis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in excuses such as "I don't have time, my body hurts, or I am too tired" to get out of doing the things I knew I needed to be doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses to avoid taking responsibility over and over again to the point where I began to believe that these excuses were my reality not seeing realizing and understanding that the more and more I participated in these excuses, the more and more they DID start to become my reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stretch the truth through the use of excuses in order to get out of doing things that I don't feel like doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by bringing myself to believe in my excuses so that I can convince others that they should believe my excuses as well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow within others participation in excuses because of my own participation, not seeing realizing and understanding that I cannot hold others accountable when I do not hold myself accountable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse I am too tired

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse my body hurts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse I don't have time

I see realize and understand that participation in excuses can cause one to create a life they do not desire and so

I commit myself to hold myself accountable to the excuses I use at least privately in order to see realize and understand how excuses form in part the reality that I create

Day 10: I don't want to do this

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider skipping a day of my writing because I do not feel like it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my writing until the very last part of my day before I go to sleep when I have the most accumulated resistance to doing it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the resistance towards the things that I have committed to doing

I  commit myself to complete my writing process before 8pm every day for the next 30 days

Day 9: Money trees is the perfect place for shade

Often times, and this is something that has happened since I first began this writing process, I do not know what to write about. Today I find myself in a similar position, I have been more consistent with writing over the last 10 days than I have in over half a year and I have noticed a difference to say the least. Now seeing this in front of me I ask myself, well what has been different? My habits have been different, that's an easy one, I've begun to do my basics again, I have been consistent with my writing, I have been redirecting the energy that I would have in the past used to watch porn, etc. I feel at the time of this writing as if, "what's the point?" I'm being consistent with my habits, I am not watching porn, I am being present with my family and spending quality time with them, so what's wrong. I see realize and understand that change can occur immediately, but that does not mean that there will be a difference in terms of monetary result immediately, and thus I find the root of my discontentment. I'm sick of barely having enough money or just straight up not having enough money, I am sick of not being able to live the way I want to live because I am financially incapable of doing so, I am sick of having to decide between simple luxuries, like ice cream, a new water bottle, amenities for our home, etc. because I know that more often than not we are in a budget deficit at the end of the month, and that is what I want to change, I want to have financial abundance, I want to be financially independent, I want to be able to go through my life and KNOW that money will never be the reason why I do not live the life that is possible. I see realize and understand if I want to lead a life of financial abundance, free of financial worries, and full of possibility, that I must create that. It will not happen for me, it will not magically come to me, I must go out and create that

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put myself into positions where I have no money, barely just enough money, or not enough money to live the life of my desires, I see realize and understand that within this point there is a resistance to the having of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I can just work harder then I will have the financial abundance I desire, I see realize and understand the people that work the hardest (e.g. blue collar workers) will rarely if ever come close to the financial abundance that I desire, within this I see realize and understand that those who work for 40+ years of their life doing hard work on average make less $2,000,000 over the course of their entire lives and yet many including myself believe that if we can just work harder, that will solve our financial problems, not seeing realizing and understanding that while working hard is a necessary factor in success that doing manual labor is not the vehicle that will enable one to have financial freedom and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that just working hard alone will not yield the result that I am looking for 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resistance to making a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resistance to having more than enough money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot have a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot have more than enough money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resistance towards having millions of dollars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have resistance towards having billions of dollars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot have millions of dollars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot make hundreds of thousands of dollars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot make tens of thousands of dollars on a regular basis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is something special about me where it will be difficult specifically for me to have financial abundance

I see realize and understand that I have terrible programs/belief systems about making a lot of money and that if I continue to resist money or believe I cannot/do not deserve to have a lot of money, I will never be able to live the life of financial freedom that I envision and so 

I commit myself to ask my parents about their belief systems involving money to understand the root of my programming

I commit myself to create a life of financial abundance where I make tens of thousands of dollars regularly, hundreds of thousands of dollars, millions of dollars, and even billions of dollars and to never give up on myself in that journey

Day 8: With great power...

I am Alive, I am Awake, I am a Creator. It is so cool, through this writing process, seeing realizing and understanding how much potential that I as life truly have, and within seeing realizing and understanding how much I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself based off of belief systems that I just haven't thoroughly investigated. It is so cool to see realize and understand that I truly am a Creator. With this great power comes great responsibility and if this power is not effectively directed it can easily turn into an abusive manifestation of my preprogrammed beliefs. I see realize and understand that I must walk this process every single day and continue to push and challenge myself if I truly wish to create a consequence that is best for me and all life always. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am nothing, but a creation. Not seeing realizing and understanding that being made "in the image of God" tells the truth of the matter, that I am God, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself unequal to God

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that God has control over. my life and it is up to God whether I live a good life or a bad life, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the plan God has for me, or my fate was decided before I was born and so anything I did did not matter because it had already been decided for me by God, I see realize and understand that preprogramming does exist, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that since God already knows everything that I am going to do, that I do not need to take responsibility for my poor choices, nor the good things I have created, because it had already been decided by God

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that to avoid taking more responsibility is to deny myself my true nature as a creator because as creators we each have a tremendous responsibility to ourselves and others, I see realize and understand that because so many of us deny ourselves the taking of more responsibility we accept and allow ourselves to believe we are at consequence instead of embracing the fact that we are at cause and we do have the power to change this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand behind the decisions that I make, accepting and allowing myself to bend to perceived authorities as soon as I am challenged, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that I am equal and one with all that is Life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not fully embrace myself as an all powerful creator capable of changing the world

I see realize and understand how the belief system associated with my religious upbringing has served in making me more docile and less aware of the power that I hold within me and so 

I commit myself go after what I want with my full power and to really step up and change the world, I see realize and understand that this will take time and that there will be difficulties along the way, and so I commit myself to never give up

Day 7: The only way out is through

"The only way out is through" - Avery Williams

This simple idea is one that I continue to develop a new understanding of and new realizations about. To reference back to one of my previous writings however, not something that I have acted differently because of, not at least until now. It started with a simple thought for myself that I DID translate into action which was my realization that I was afraid to look at my self, self-honestly and tell myself who I really am. That's a big reason why I started these blog posts. I realized I would never be able to have what I want if I never learned who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself self-realization

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself self-honesty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame porn for the way that I am, not seeing realizing and understanding that part of the reason I have struggled so long with the point of porn is due to the fact that I saw myself as unequal to porn, and perceived porn to have control over my impulses and desires, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself less powerful than porn, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take responsibility for my own actions and reactions 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that I will not be able to create what I want without knowing who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to divert my focus down too many avenues, not seeing realizing and understanding that what my focus energy and attention is set on is what I will create and that if I am spreading 100% of my focus down 10 different avenues I can only ever give 10% of my creative expression to one avenue at once and within this I see realize and understand that the less I divert my focus the more of my creative power I will be able to express, within this I see realize and understand that if the only way out is through, the more of my creative power I can focus on the way out, the easier it will be to overcome any obstacle that might stand in my way and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even give myself a fighting chance to find a way out of the current life, of what I do not want, that I have created , by dedicating too much of my creative power towards suppression or generally things that I do not want to happen

I see realize and understand that I am a creative being, and that I have severely limited the power of my creative expression by not accepting and allowing myself to dedicate the entirety of my power to the creation of what I want and so 

I commit myself to create a vision board so that I may see clearly in my physical reality, what it is that I want to create

I commit myself to create a mind movie to watch every day to impulse myself with the vision of what I want to create

I commit myself to create a stability list to do every day in order to impulse myself with what I want to create

Day 6: Never fall off; Never Stop

 Just got back from the Self-Perfected Enter the 1% Miami Edition event and wow. Lots of different points to process as well as follow through with. I'm here now standing triumphantly in the face of the time loop I have encountered in the past where I begin to get consistent with something and I stop for whatever reason and instead of continuing from that point, I allow myself to wallow and digress. This time I move forward, at the event I did not make time for myself to sit down and write my blogs and instead of allowing myself to fall off the deep end again, I am going to learn from my errors in the past and live the correction now. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I take a day off of a habit, wallow knee deep in the negative emotion I have experienced from not being perfect with my habits until I begin to drown in it, creating a new habit of not doing the thing I initially set out to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the negative energy surrounding not being perfect, not seeing realizing and understanding that perfectionism is a program and that it is ok to fall, but it is not ok to stay fallen, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when and as I do something imperfect such as miss a day of a habit I am trying to create, to believe that I now have to start over from the beginning and do it over and over again until I get it perfect, I see realize and understand the ego trap of starting over when perfection is not achieved that is designed to keep me the same and so I forgive myself for my unconscious participation in patterns designed to keep me the same

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify not following through with my commitment to myself due to my awareness of the pattern described above, I see realize and understand that a circumstance can exist that makes it acceptable to not follow through with a commitment in its entirety, but that it is not acceptable to deliberately choose not to follow through with a commitment because of resistance and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in resistance to following through with my commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am not perfect that I am not enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is better to do nothing at all than it is to do something and do it imperfectly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trick myself into foolish thought patterns where I tell myself "this is the best way to do it" or "this is what will help me grow" not seeing realizing and understanding that the exact opposite is true

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that it is possible to pursue perfection while being imperfect on the journey there

I see realize and understand my participation in patterns of perfectionism plays a significant role in my accepting and allowing of myself to stay the same and so

I commit myself, when and as I am creating a new habit/following through with a commitment and I fall/do it imperfectly, to continue going from where I am at now instead of starting over from where I was.