Day 16: I forgot the title

 I thought of something earlier today that I wanted to write about and came up with what I would call a clever title for it, and now I cannot seem to remember so I'll have to come back to that. I noticed a trend with myself yesterday and today. Several months ago I was meeting with a friend and he shared with me a simple and effective app for tracking my habits. After inputting several of the habits I wanted to create into the app I began to track them and did so rather consistently over the duration of three months. At a certain point within those three months I realized that I was kidding myself with the way that I was focusing on supporting myself and my growth, so at that point I sat down and looked at how effectively I was preforming each of the habits I set out to do. After doing so, and being rather dissatisfied with myself, I realized that it was time for something to change and so I began by changing my habits. I listed out for myself a number of habits that I believed, if I incorporated everyday over a thirty period, would move me. Initially I was doing great, completing 91% of my habits week 1 and nearly 80% on week 2, to now being 60% of the way through the week with only 30% of my habits completed. Now for the point, beginning last week and following through to this week. When I started to do more for myself and wanted to start pushing myself more. I started to do more and push myself more with other things that did not pertain to what I had initially set out to do, and ultimately incorporating these other things and pushing myself to do more outside of what I set out to do has become a distraction that is taking away from my focus of what I want to create. I am not writing this to say that when you make up your mind about something that you cannot nor should not do anything else, no. What I am saying is that when you set a focus and an intention to create something then you should maintain your focus on that creation in your mind as priority number one and not allow things that do not fall within that realm to take precedence over what you have set out to do. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to repeat the pattern that follows, to have a dream that I want to create, figure out what I need to do in order to create that, begin to do things and do them well, begin to see results, start to incorporate irrelevant things into the equation that subtract from what things I need to do in order to create my dream, stop participating in the things I need to do, go back to square one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not focus on what it is that I want to create for a long enough duration to see it manifest in physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not prioritize what it is that I want to create

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prioritize what I want to do over what I need to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do the things I need to do because they are boring or repetitious and not bringing me results fast enough

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that building a foundation 1 brick, 1 level, 1 section at a time is the fastest way to build it and that attempting to shortcut this process only leads to one having to rebuild their foundation again which actually results in things taking longer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to concern myself with the speed in which the results I desire manifest, not seeing realizing and understanding that no matter how fast the results I desire manifest, I will have to continue showing up time and again in order to create a new result and to continue growing

I see realize and understand that being in a rush to get results NOW has caused me to cut serious corners time and again which has resulted in me having a very weak foundation for success and so

I commit myself to master the basics of Your wish is your command

I commit myself to master the basics of TT

I commit myself to master the basics of self-forgiveness

Day 15: I am a creator

Yesterday I finally dove into Suno AI, a text to music ai, and made a song to help inspire me and make me feel good about my pursuits. Best for all music. In this song, and the many variations I made of it, I used the phrase "I am a creator" and after playing it over and over and over and repeating it to myself over and over and over I was looking down at my son and I realized, he is a creator, and he will never have any doubt about that

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that to be made in the image and likeness of God is to be God, myself within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is an omnipotent all powerful creator that made me in his image and likeness, yet gave me none of their creative expression not seeing realizing and understanding that I was created by a creator, as a creator

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can't stray out of my lane when it comes to creation and that I must follow the path that has been laid in front of me within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only use my power with high intensity and over a long duration to create the fear and doubts that I participate in, not seeing realizing and understanding that I do not have to focus on what I do not want and if I can hold my dream in my mind and focus on it with high enough intensity over a long enough duration that I can create whatever I desire

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be afraid to use my creative power to create something that is outside of my comfort zone, not seeing realizing and understanding that being afraid of what lies beyond my comfort zone will never allow me to use my creative power to create outside of my comfort zone and if within my comfort zone is only what I do not want then I could never expect to get what I do want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that if what I was doing in order to create my desires was the correct way to go about creating them, then I would already have them, not seeing realizing and understanding that if what I am doing to create what I want is not creating what I want and I continue doing it then I have an incredibly low teachability index and I will never create my desires

I see realize and understand that I am a creator with the ability to create whatever I like in this world and so 

I commit myself to focus with high intensity and over a long duration on making more money in a month than I ever have until I do so

Day 14: what would I do if..

Sometimes I will catch myself running through my mind countless scenarios in which I am fantasizing/imagine what I would do in such and such situation if... These scenarios can, at times, be extreme or cause me to begin to question who I really am, and so I think now is a good time to address it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I did not have a family that I was responsible for that I would not take care of myself nor would I push myself to grow, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a make believe reality in my mind where I do not have a family that I am responsible, in which I can participate in all of the bad habits that enable me to be stuck where I am, "without consequence"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in make believe mind realities in which the family that I am responsible for dies or leaves me in some way, within this make believe reality I would then be able to participate in my bad habits in a gluttonous manner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish for permission to participate in my bad habits without consequence

Day 13: Doubt do it

"When your attitude is right, the facts don't count. That's because what you think are facts are mostly other people's opinions." As a creator I have the ability to create whatever I want in this life, with this power however comes the ability to also withhold myself from creating my desires through participation in doubt. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to make sales

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to make a lot of money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use other people's opinions as the basis of reality and form fears/doubts from those opinions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my power as a creator

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to have financial freedom

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to change the world, not/seeing/realizing and understanding that all humans are the same and inherently are equal as life and so if one person is able to change the world, then anyone should be able to change the world and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself equal to all as life as one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to be able to effectively communicate with others to get exactly what I want out of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to raise my children to be highly effective adults

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to be the best father and husband for my family

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my capacity to stand up and make a difference

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can live a life free of pain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can live a life free of porn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have everything that I want out of life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to type incredibly fast

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can shave my face without getting ingrown hairs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can reach my fitness goals

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can live life free of disease

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have great habits

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have really nice teeth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own expensive jewelery

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own luxury cars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own multiple cars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have hundreds of thousands even millions or billions of dollars in excess that I can spend or lose without causing me financial burden

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have a collection of really nice shoes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can afford to go to the barber every week

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can support other people to change their lives

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can be an influencer/role model

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own multiple houses

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can be a successful real estate investor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can be a successful investor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I have can a home library 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can host highly successful and effective events

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can travel to all of the places I wish to see in the world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I have the power to prevent war

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my ability to keep my family safe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have a custom home built for me and my family that meets all of our needs and allows us the freedom to create whatever we desire

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can learn skillsets without having a job pertaining to that skillset

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own a business

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can get rich and not have to work as an employee

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own an office building

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can find the perfect location for our clubhouse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can make sales through door to door lead generation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have an education business that changes people's lives, saves children, and recreates the world system as best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can get into politics

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can be the president

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can never get cancer

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own a ranch

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own acreage

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can ever afford a house

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can raise animals in an honorable way and then slaughter them to feed my family

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can have a gun/shooting range on my personal property

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can own a glock

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can afford my wife's midwife

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that my wife can have a home birth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can get my wife the vehicles that she wants 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt that I can make $15,000+ a month

I see realize and understand that there is a large number of doubts taking up mental space that are actively working against what I want to create and so

I commit myself to begin taking action to dispel these doubts one by one and continue doing so for any new doubts that may arrive

Day 11: I GOT IT

 Currently going back through the Your Wish is Your Command audio series and had a profound realization during the last audio session. KT was explaining how during a break one of the guests came up to him exclaiming "I GET IT, I FINALLY GET IT, IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE" and he laughed it off as if in on some joke. He then went on to explain that when one has a high teachability they will never get it,  rather they will always be getting it. In contrast when one has a low teachability they will have an " I GOT IT" attitude and stop their pursuit of learning. My realization within this point has to do with the fact that for the last two years I have had an 'I GOT IT' attitude and how having that attitude is a big factor in why I have not created the life of my desires

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I got it and that there is not anymore for me to get other than results, within this point I have at times even participated and believed in the thought process of "I don't need to learn anymore", not seeing realizing and understanding that to know and not to do is not to know, and that if I do not have what I want to create then there is something missing from the equation and in fact I DO need to learn more in some regard in order to change my situation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself superior to others because of the tools/community/knowledge I have access to, not seeing realizing and understanding that to know and not to do is not to know, and that if I have not changed anything even with the tools/community/knowledge I have access to, then that means that I have an incredibly low teachability index

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a low willingness to learn

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a low willingness to accept change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I continue doing things the way that I have been doing them that I will get everything I desire, not seeing realizing and understanding that if what I have been doing is not getting me what I want, continuing that pattern of behavior will not yield different results, I see realize and understand that this pattern can be described as having a low teachability index

I see realize and understand that my current state in life can be attributed to the five basics

1. who do you listen to?

2. Teachability index

3. Training balance scale

4. Four levels of learning

5. Master the basics

Since I developed an awareness that I do have power to change my reality four years ago, I have been listening to the wrong people, I have either not been willing to learn or not willing to accept change, I have been either too focused on the how or too focused on the why without knowing how, and I have not spent enough time at the conscious competence level to develop the proficiency in skillsets that will help me create the life of my desires and so

I commit myself to master the five basics 

I commit myself to finish the your wish is your command audio series

I commit myself to increase my teachability index

Day 11: Excusitis the disease of failure

While reading "The Magic of Thinking Big" I was introduced to the idea of Exusitis, the disease of failure. The concept goes as such, we all at one point or another have used an excuse to limit ourselves, or keep ourselves the same. Initially we are aware that we are using this "reason" as an excuse and that we may be stretching it a bit in order to not take responsibility. Well in this process we sometimes use these excuses again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, to the point where we don't even realize it, but we begin to believe this excuse is our reality. Upon reading this I realized I had created in my life the results of my thinking and had accepted and allowed myself to become a victim of excusitis

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in excuses such as "I don't have time, my body hurts, or I am too tired" to get out of doing the things I knew I needed to be doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use excuses to avoid taking responsibility over and over again to the point where I began to believe that these excuses were my reality not seeing realizing and understanding that the more and more I participated in these excuses, the more and more they DID start to become my reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stretch the truth through the use of excuses in order to get out of doing things that I don't feel like doing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself by bringing myself to believe in my excuses so that I can convince others that they should believe my excuses as well

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept and allow within others participation in excuses because of my own participation, not seeing realizing and understanding that I cannot hold others accountable when I do not hold myself accountable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse I am too tired

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse my body hurts

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse I don't have time

I see realize and understand that participation in excuses can cause one to create a life they do not desire and so

I commit myself to hold myself accountable to the excuses I use at least privately in order to see realize and understand how excuses form in part the reality that I create

Day 10: I don't want to do this

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider skipping a day of my writing because I do not feel like it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone my writing until the very last part of my day before I go to sleep when I have the most accumulated resistance to doing it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the resistance towards the things that I have committed to doing

I  commit myself to complete my writing process before 8pm every day for the next 30 days