Day 33 Just do it

 Resistance is real. 

I have 0 doubt about that. I mean its obvious, even children face resistance when it comes to trying new things, meeting new people, etc. so it would make sense as an adult that we would have lots of it.

I have resistance towards a lot of things.

working out, doing my writing, staying away from porn, limiting video games, keeping my phone out of the bathroom, etc. the list goes on and on.

I'm here today because I have noticed a strong resistance to "swallowing the frog", the context being there was an author or a random person at some time who told a story like if you knew every single day of your life that you had to swallow a frog whole, wouldn't you just do it first thing in the morning and get it over with, that way you know regardless of what goes on the rest of your day, you got the hardest part out of the way. 

Seems like a solid plan, but here's the thing. I probably wouldn't want to swallow that frog, I don't think any of us would and therein lies the predicament, that we face resistance towards doing the things that we're going to have to do anyways, so it gets put off, it takes up mental space, and then even after a whole day of thinking about how you don't want to do it, you still gotta swallow the damn thing (pause)

I have resistance towards sitting down and getting straight to work, for some reason I prefer to waste whatever amount of time, either just a moment or the whole amount of time I have set aside, just because I have resistance towards doing the work.

When I wake up in the morning, I could get up and get to straight to it, buttt I'll usually lie in bed on my phone for a bit

When I get to work, I could get straight to my follow-up, but I like to scroll through all of the info in the CRM and catch up with coworkers

When I stay up after the family goes to bed, I could sit down and do my writing, but I like to look at my game or scroll before doing it anyways

Notice a theme here.

It's a consistent pattern and it's time to address it. I don't have to be perfect, just better than yesterday

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play an active role in resisting the things I know I must do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and avoid the discomfort of doing what I must do, by putting it off to do later

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that the discomfort I face when doing the things I must do is a result of not doing them, which is the point of doing them in the first place, to build the habit and discipline necessary for the growth I am trying to achieve

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I won't have time to do the things I want to do if I do the things that I must do first

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the fear of missing out, within this not seeing realizing and understanding that if I procrastinate on entertainment and then do what I must do, it will take the exact same amount of time as doing what I must do and then entertaining myself. I now see realize and understand the thought pattern that I have created to allow me to justify the pattern of procrastination and so I commit myself to, tomorrow morning when I wake up, to not use my phone for any form of entertainment until I have completed my TT and my course work that I have committed to doing every day.